Tell me something… do you root for the bad guy? Is an evil laugh a work of art for you? Do masks count as casual wear? Do you enjoy beating PETA members to death with baby cows? Do you have trouble fitting both testicles in your thong? Do you sometimes find yourself using the phrase “quake in buttery fear”?
If you answered yes to any of those, this might be the place for you. Except for the thong thing which could be dangerous if people start writing Dr. Seuss erotica. This is still the place for you, but I can provide little relief for you from this dimension.
Yeah, another dimension. Lucky you. A dimension of sight. A dimension of sound. A dimension of smells. Bad smells. Freaky smells. Anal smells. Smells you don’t have to sniff because you’re not here, man! Luckily for you, I, the Great and Devious Psycho Gecko, have acquired a device allowing me to share my adopted dimension with you. Let my eyes be your eyes. My ears be your ears. My fists be your fists. My sphincter be your sphincter. Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your rears!
Now sit them right down in that chair every Wednesday and Sunday and enjoy a trip through life with an unrepentant, murderous supervillain. You were expecting a heroic figure forced down a dark path, fighting to be a good man despite society forcing him into evil acts? Well cut that shit out right now. Tie up your kiddies in the other room and hold on to your sphincters. It’s time for World Domination in Retrospect!
If you would like to email Psycho Gecko, drop a line at the unlikely-named address firstname.lastname@example.org and it’ll get to him. Alternatively, film yourself saying his name three times into a mirror in the bathroom while wearing a bra on your head. It won’t summon him or anything, but it makes me laugh to think about.
World Domination in Retrospect by Psycho Gecko is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.