Alien Villainess 1



Well that whole war thing was pointless. I guess the machines got something out of it, but regular people are just whining all over the place. Not the ones who had to go through some shit; they’re grateful or have higher priorities. It’s all the ones who were unaffected who are complaining. Mostly stuff like how intervening means it seems like fun and games and makes light of the real human struggle going on. One of them’s from a Ukrainian pilot complaining that he wasn’t able to get a dozen confirmed victories because they left, but that guy’s joking around.

With so many entitled people so needy and whiny, I’m beginning to see how flooding the entire world looks like a good idea.

Still, as long as I pay them no mind, I’ve been having a great time. That’s why I’ve decided I’m taking Venus out into the universe as part of getting to know her better. Or, well, some part of me has kept thinking of her as a copy of my Venus, now Medusa. It’s been a dismissive way to think of her, and I wanted to get rid of that mindset. If I’m going to be married to her, I don’t want it to just be because she and Medusa believe in marriage before having a kid together. But I want something more out of this Mary Sue Harem anime life I’ve stumbled into.

Anyway, I’m dumping y’all on Outlaw X until something interesting happens.

Or I wanted to.

We were walking the concourse at a space station, enjoying some Sbarro and Sarku Japan. “How are these all the way out here?” Venus asked.

“They’re everywhere out here,” I explained. “Only time I didn’t run across them, they were fucking with me. They were saving money by giving me the recycled rations instead of good stuff.”

“What’s this place for?” she asked, looking around at all the aliens. Some of them stared right back at us, with the most common species being some sort of short-haired rodents with sharp claws and prehensile tails that helped them balance.

“I picked it because it’s an entertainment hub. Started as a refueling station and grew from there.” I caught a glimpse of a stall selling physical media copies according to planet/civilization, as well as merchandise. I stopped to look at one for the space opera I was accidentally in. It was a small stuffed doll version of me. “How much?”

They used a currency that used to belong to an old empire that had collapsed, but which was still widely recognized and which people could trade into from various other cultures. I conjured up common electronic device people use to keep track of and spend currency, and paid.

“Aww, cute! They sell human toys?” Venus asked.

I handed it to her. “A little more complicated than that. They’ve had humans out in space before.”

“I’m surprised they need to sell stuff with movies and TV on it, since Earth has digital media,” Venus said.

“There’s not really an interstellar internet that surrounds and binds everyone. Sometimes things need to travel physically. Which is another reason this exists. They have space cruises running out of here, you know. Really, more like dedicated, high speed passenger transports with decent food. Some people spend good money to just idle around and explore different places. Though the exploration part is overblown. They don’t go anywhere that a good chunk of guests would want to leave off at. That does mean a few new frontiers, though.”

“Can you find us one going to some new colony? Some lawless, rough and tumble frontier town that needs a kick in the ass from a newcomer with a sense of justice?” she asked.

“You would be into West World if that were real, wouldn’t you?” I asked her.

She giggled. “With some Star Trek thrown in. Think I’d look good in a onesie?”

I shook my head. “Dear, you would look good even in nothing at all.”

Venus rolled her eyes, then wrapped her arms around me. “You know, the you I knew said something like that to creep me out. You meant it, but, you wanted to be my villainous admirer. Now, you’re much more genuine.”

I smiled. I knew what she meant. “I’ve changed a bit, and that one can be blamed on your older sister, if you don’t mind me saying. I built you up in my mind, and thought I never had a chance. You were my hero idol. It was unfair to both of us.”

“You idolized me?” she asked with a bright smile. “That’s sweet, you big, queer, flamboyant softy.”

I tilted my head. “Ah, there’s the boat we’re looking for.” I pulled her close and wrapped my wings around her. When I pulled them away, we were standing in front of a docking lounge a the station for a vessel that had just arrived, named after a hero explorer from another planet, Xech The Wind.

A bunch of aliens got off, including a few that turned my head. “See anyone you like?” I asked. “Go ahead. Unless you don’t care for that angle of our relationship. I can hold off for our trip.”

“I thought I would, but it’s weird, I don’t,” She answered. We both got a good look at a female avian alien of some sort, with rather dull coloring but some thick thighs and a beak that had formed into something like lips.

“Yeah, I’ve quite grown out of my desire to have you all to myself,” I agreed. “I no longer get a bit Genghis Khan.” I turned to a gelatinous blob monster with a single eye and a large, gaping mouth that wore a funny little hat. “Pardon me, my mate and I would like to book passage on this ship. We can pay well.”

“What are your names?” the crewman asked.

“This is Mona Lisa and I am Cleopatra,” I told it.

“Really?” Venus asked, laughing after we got all signed up. “Mona Lisa and Cleopatra?”

“If I were male, I’d have gone by Engelbert Humperdink. On Earth, such an obviously fake name. Out here, no one knows.”

We ended up traveling on the Xech The Wind, enjoying ourselves some private fun. I don’t have to tell y’all everything. I don’t have to tell y’all anything. But 30 hours out, we were both enjoying some unrecognizable food in the restaurant when the ship’s alarm sounded.

“What happened?” Venus looked around.

“Folks, this is your captain speaking, uh… everything’s fine, we’re just experiencing a bit of unusual turbulence…” a voice droned over the public address system. “It is advised that everyone find a seat with safety restraints.”

I buckled my restaurant seat’s straps. At my will, Venus’s seat buckled itself around her, too. She looked ready to do something.

“You don’t know anything about saving starships,” I pointed out.

“You can,” she said.

“Darn, wish you hadn’t thought of that,” I said. I grabbed something off my plate that might be a lasagna noodle made of meat.

“Are you doing this, or just letting it happen?” she asked.

“Well, I didn’t want to spoil things, but someone figured out this one sensor wasn’t working and repaired it anyway. The ship is going to end up at some sort of planet. You still want some sort of frontier in need of justice? Or you want something urban in a place that doesn’t know you? What’s your fantasy?”

“You’re going to teleport more planets?” she asked, while thinking about it.

“Mysterious wormholes happen sometimes. Everyone will get rescued and will be fine after awhile, though. Go ahead, what do you want? I have a whole universe to work with here? Just think about it.”

The ship got hit by a rogue asteroid that fucked up navigation. Then the wormhole hit.

We ended up in orbit around a planet roughly equal with the 1930s or 40s if we compared it to Earth technology. The aliens had a few skin tones, like shades of green, pink, and yellow. Their eyes were different and their hair colors were more like white, blue, and purple, but all that could be hidden. And lucky for us, the ship had a system in place meant to hide itself from the crude technology of the age. That part hadn’t been damaged.

Thing was…

“We need beryllium. We lost the spare materials in the accident. If anyone on the ship has any beryllium and can provide it, we ask that you come forward now,” the captain pleaded over the sound system.

Naturally, Venus and I made our way to the command center of the cruise ship. “How about the planet? They’ve got to have some,” Venus suggested.

The captain, a jelly cube of goo, looked her over with its dozen eyes. “Maybe… it could be disastrous to interfere with the primitives, but your species might pass. You will need to blend in and find a source.”

“I can do that,” Venus said.

“And I found a source,” I said. I snapped my fingers and created a projection of a scientific expo happening in one of the urban centers of the planet. A scientist had brought the early workings of the shell of a nuclear device. He was naive enough to present its peaceful applications, like mining, as well as demonstrations of how it might potentially be used in reactors of the nuclear materials. He didn’t bring actual nuclear material with him, but everyone on the ship could see how short-sighted he was doing this.

“This is why primitives so often blow themselves up,” the captain muttered. “We aren’t supposed to interfere, but it might be better if we take it.”

“Good,” I said. “Mona Lisa will steal the berylium and get it back to her spaceship.”

“You can’t be thinking of going with her,” the captain said. “You stand out, whatever your species is.”

I shook my head. “No, this is something Mona Lisa has to do alone.” I was having a lot of fun with Venus calling her that.

“Fine, you stay on the ship. We have a vessel we can send down with her that should evade the sensors of these primitives,” the captain planned. “If they notice it at all, they will think it’s something mundane, like a dirigible or a more advanced aircraft being created by their government.”

I nodded. “Makes sense.”

The captain left us to get prepared. Venus was giddy back at our cabin. “We’re doing this, huh?”

“Yeah, but now we need to get you suited up. Translation, idioms, accent… as well as protection against any nasty viruses or bacteria that might want a go at you.”

“You read my mind,” Venus said.

“Mhm,” I told her, then melted away into a liquid being that flowed over her, and into her pores, her orifices. For a brief second, a reflective surface in our cabin showed her as a shiny clawed monster with exaggerated curves and no eyes before I settled down into something more like an old time superhero costume, tight over abs and muscles that I boosted.

“That is something,” Venus said, then held her hands up to her mouth. “My voice sounds different.”

“Yes,” I said through her mouth. “I’m not just skin deep.”

“I bet you aren’t,” she said slyly, winking at the mirror. White lenses covered her eyes to obscure their alien appearance in comparison to what was down on the surface.

A yawn came from behind us. We turned our head to see the avian uncurl from our bed and sit up. “Did something happen?”

To ourself, we said, “He said we have thirty minutes. That should be enough real quick.”




2 thoughts on “Alien Villainess 1

  1. Pingback: Godwar 2 | World Domination in Retrospect

  2. Pingback: Alien Villainess 2 | World Domination in Retrospect

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