Seeing as our friends at Outlaw X were kind enough to leave y’all with a cliffhanger, I figured the least I could do is not make everyone wait another month to find out about the fate of random people you only learned about a few days ago.
Note to self: try to sound less like a jackass.
Hey, all of this is some new and useful knowledge for me. It keeps me abreast of emerging supervillains and superheroes. I get to understand a little bit more about that metal. I saw that video they mentioned in the first part, too. Might be I’ll find myself up against a mysterious telepathic metal capable of doing all these things. Sharp, too. Able to hold an edge that can take down a well-armored robot.
So let’s continue this voyeuristic journey together, shall we?
“Ya heard it, ya heard it, ya heard it on the X!
Outlaw X here, back in black and twice as beautiful. I’d like to thank everyone for their fondest wishes for my well-being due to my recent absence. I especially want to think the evil magician Perfecto and his assistant, the Malicious Maiming Melinda. Better luck next time, shitlickers.
With our dedications out of the way, I see it’s almost time for us to kick off two hours of throwback 90s Gangster Rap goodness. The one hit wonders, the sellouts, the hitmakers, and the dead but not forgotten, all in one. In a way, it reminds me of supervillains. A lot of supervillains fit into those molds as well, but be careful who you call a sellout unless you know for a fact that they talked.
First, we’ve got the second half of a story to share. Looks like this one’s going to spoil me. Thanks a lot, Perfecto.”
So I’m trapped in the fourth and top floor of a lab that studies metals, calling myself Green Falcon because of my thunderbolt suit and small thunderbolt knife. Zeus had his bedsheet and thunderbolt javelin, Gauge had his thunderbolt darts, and Mist had some guy she’d taken hostage. She brought him into the room with her and closed the door. We’d all heard the elevator ding and the pounding of heavy SWAT boots and Enforcer legs on the floor.
Mist put her hand on the poor guy’s body. “I have something in mind.”
“Please don’t hurt me,” the man cried. I didn’t see what she had that brought her here looking for more of the mysterious meteor metal, but I knew people who didn’t have it would want it too. It’s valuable if they want it for themselves, and I bet you could sell it for a lot of money if you knew how to do that sort of thing.
Mist smiled and blew a kiss toward him, a dark cloud moving out of her mouth and into the crying hostage’s mouth and nose. He coughed, sneezed, and gagged like he was about to throw up. He was fine, but the Latina in the green dress patted him on the shoulder. She called out, “Don’t shoot, I’m sending out the hostage as a sign of good faith!”
I walked back to the window to glance outside quickly. “Yeah, there’s still a shitload of them down below. You sure you want to give him up?”
Mist smiled and opened the door just enough for the man to leave, hands raised. She slammed it closed quickly, locked it, and moved pretty fast in those flats to get out from behind it. No one wants to give guys with guns a good idea where you are.
“Flyboy, how much can you carry?” Gauge asked me.
I shrugged, then pointed to the hunk of meteor. “I came prepared to take all that with me. I got cords for it.”
Zeus, being super helpful, walked over to the meteor and smacked it with his javelin, drawing everyone’s attention. The meteor crumbled. I should say the fake meteor crumbled. Looked like dried mouthwash somehow.
“Heh,” Gauge said. He turned back to me from Zeus’s big reveal. “I hope you got enough for the weight of another man.”
“That’s cool, I can fly myself,” Zeus said. Nobody had asked him.
Mist opened her mouth to say something, then thought better. As if someone pressed a button, we heard screams from the hallway, including a noise like someone dropped a watermelon from atop a building. Then, more screams.
Mist pumped a fist, but it was short-lived as a metal hand punched through the door to reach over and unlock it. The door opened and the armored Enforcer in the lead caught one of Gauge’s darts through the head. It kept coming, so the others took it in the chest and slammed it out into the hallway, knocking over one of the smaller Enforcers. Two more of those came running in. They have a weird gait, like someone programmed them after that old movie with the killer robot made of liquid metal. Zeus’s javelin whipped out and pinned one through the chest, then turned and impaled the second one the same way. He tried jiggling it to knock them off. Another armored Enforcer came in, ducking under the javelin in a fluid motion that didn’t look right coming from it. I sent my knife out, the blade circling the neck and cutting the head off. It flew through the hole and bounded around inside, whirling around and just cutting through whatever. I held my hand back out for it as it came back to me through the open neck hole of the falling robot.
“What did you do out there?” Gauge asked. Outside, where it wasn’t fogged up my Mist’s mist, things were looking gross shades of pink, orange, and red.
“I like my metal gaseous,” was all Mist said to enlighten us. It was enough. From the way Gauge nearly tossed chunks, it was more than enough. I was going to the window to give the cops below a sample of my vomit when a helicopter flew in from the side all of a sudden. I saw a laserlight dead in my eye. If I’m lying, I’m dying. Gauge’s darts got to the police sniper first, and the pilot next, then came back to him. The chopper began to spin out of control, but hit the building lower down.
“That’s the kind of chaos we need to get out of here,” Gauge said.
Another armored Enforcer stepped through the doorway, this one’s armor shining the same dark green everyone there was familiar with. Zeus’s javelin spun, knocking one pointed end against this new Enforcer’s breastplate, then the other. The impaled Enforcers went flying, but the Thunderbolt Enforcer was lightly scratched.
“Guys, I don’t think this one’s fake,” Zeus said. The Thunderbolt Enforcer smacked the javelin away, the side of it knocking Zeus on his ass.
Gauge tried with his darts, aiming for the elbows, shoulders, and throat. The didn’t stab into it. Mist even put her mist to work, trying to find a way into it. There had to be, right? Why make these things airtight? Aside from air powers, water powers, shrinking powers, fog powers… fine, it was smart they made it airtight. Smart for them.
The Thunderbolt Enforcer advanced, reaching for Gauge. I got an idea and reached for a length of cord hanging on my waist. I made it into a quick lasso and tossed it around the upper body of the Thunderbolt Enforcer and flew back, out the window. The Enforcer came with me. Once we were out in the air, four stories up, my knife sliced the rope off halfway between us. The robot clanged to the ground, but I didn’t see it burst apart. Feeling things whiz by me, I flew back inside. Nearly whizzed myself.
“Smart thinking,” Gauge said.
“You get it?” Mist asked.
I shook my head. “I think it was still intact. Don’t know if it can fly. You know if robots can use this stuff like we can?”
“Why wait to find out?” Gauge asked. He walked over to me. I looped some cable around through a harness I’d brought, snapped a carabiner onto him in a couple places. Mist, meanwhile, was sucking her fog into herself like a golfball through a garden hose. She headed out through the door, checking the hall.
“Where are you going?” Zeus asked.
“They were shooting at the Falcon on that side. I’m going out this way,” she said.
That was a good point. Zeus followed her and used his javelin to bust in the door and through the window on the other side of the hallway. Gauge and I hobbled after, trying not to get tangled up. Zeus jammed his javelin into the floor and hopped onto a pair of straps on top, tightening them. “Saw this on these gnarly rockets you could use to fly around on,” he said. He went first, probably not realizing he’d have been our indication if they had guns readied on the other side. When he didn’t get shot out of the sky, the rest of us followed.
I brought Gauge and I as if it was nothing. I’d never tested the full extent of the meteor metal’s ability to lift stuff. Maybe I should. Also good for that point, the particulates Mist sucked in were enough to lift her into the air without fucking her up like whatever she’d done in the hall. My mind kept thinking of a human balloon. Part of my ego also hated that I’d used the metal for a suit when most of the rest of us figured out a way to use it that was more impressive and still gave them flight.
I dropped Gauge off at a quiet, out of the way bar I knew that had no trouble with criminals. They had enough drug-dealing bikers in there, they couldn’t look down on some people in costumes. Mist had followed us, too. Maybe she wanted someone to throw in the way of the cops if they came after us. She even waited out in the parking lot for Gauge and I to separate ourselves. Gauge ran in first while I tried to bundle up the cable and get it set.
The news showed the Thunderbolt Enforcer flying through the wreckage back at the building while a reporter talked about an attack by supervillains. “Shit, I didn’t think about cameras,” I said, sitting down where I could watch the news and motioning to the bartender. He ignored me.
“I got to the cameras,” Mist said, sitting down beside me. “You boys would be hopeless without me.”
Gauge came back from the bathroom, patting down the front of his costume with paper towels. “We wore masks. Except that one dipshit.”
“My guys!” a familiar voice said. Even in a bar full of drug addicts, bikers, and supervillains this late at night, a man wearing his bedsheet stands out.
“Is it too late to act like we don’t know him?” Gauge asked.
“We should do that more often!” Zeus walked up behind us and hugged us all in turn.
Holy flying robots, bad man! Heh, that’s something to keep an eye on. Those Enforcers got a lot of people edgy, folks. Now we got one that’s tougher than all the others and can float.
We have new opportunities, too. This new thunderbolt stuff means more enhanced individuals, more mad science at work, and more ways to make cash money.
Keep an eye out, folks. And be careful if you find any of it. Wouldn’t want to put an eye out, unless it belongs to Johnny Law and his Lawbot.